By Harry Webster, Head of Marketing, Financial Solutions
Asking a client for a referral is one of those jobs that's very easy to push back to next week, and then the week after that. It can feel pushy, as if you're cashing in on a relationship you've worked hard to build. And when you've just broken away and have a hundred other things to sort out, it's tempting to tell yourself you'll get round to it once things have settled down.
I'd argue the opposite. The months straight after a breakaway may well be the best time you'll ever have to ask, and there's a fair amount of behavioural research to back that up. I'm a marketer rather than a psychologist, so I've kept this practical and listed the studies at the end in case you want to check my working.
Here are seven reasons to ask now rather than later.
1. People say yes far more often than you expect
In a series of experiments published in 2008, Francis Flynn and Vanessa Bohns (then Lake) asked people to predict how many others they'd need to approach before someone agreed to help them, and then sent them out to see. Across different kinds of request, people consistently underestimated how many would say yes, in some studies by as much as half. The reason is a simple blind spot. When we're the one asking, we think about what helping will cost the other person, but when we're the one being asked, what we mostly feel is how awkward it would be to say no.
Those experiments involved strangers. Your clients know you and trust you, and many of them have just followed you out of the door, so I'd expect your odds to be at least as good. It's worth remembering the other side of that research as well. Because people find it hard to say no, keep your ask light and easy to turn down. You want someone who is happy to help, not someone who feels cornered.
Try this: write down the five clients you'd least mind asking, and start with them.
2. Right now, you're news
In a 2011 study in the Journal of Marketing Research, Jonah Berger and Eric Schwartz looked at what drives word of mouth. More interesting products were talked about more straight away, but that early buzz faded. What kept people talking over the following months was being reminded of the product by things in their everyday lives.
"My adviser has just set up on their own" is an interesting thing to mention over dinner, which makes your move a talking point. Talking points don't last, though, and six months from now it'll be old news.
Try this: get your asks out while your move is still a story, rather than waiting until everything has settled.
3. Clients who came with you want to feel they chose well
This is cognitive dissonance, the theory Leon Festinger set out in 1957. In one of the early experiments testing it, Jack Brehm (1956) asked people to rate some household products, choose one to keep, and then rate them all again. Once they'd chosen, people tended to rate the item they picked more highly and the one they turned down less highly. In other words, after we make a decision we go looking for reasons it was the right one. Researchers still debate how big the effect is, but the basic pattern has held up for decades.
Every client who moved with you made a choice, and often a slightly uncomfortable one, to leave a firm they knew. Recommending you to a friend is one of the most natural ways for them to confirm, to themselves as much as to anyone else, that they got it right. So you aren't imposing on them by asking. You're giving them a chance to back their own judgement.
Try this: ask clients who have only just moved across, while the decision is still fresh in their minds.
4. Everyone loves an underdog, up to a point
Writing in the Journal of Consumer Research in 2011, Neeru Paharia and colleagues studied what they called the "underdog brand biography": a story of starting out at a disadvantage, combined with the passion and determination to succeed anyway. They found it increased purchase intentions, real choices and brand loyalty, largely because people see their own struggles reflected in it. There is a catch. A 2022 study in Psychology & Marketing found that when a choice feels risky, people can swing back towards the big, established name because it feels safer.
Your story is a genuine asset here. You left something comfortable because you believed your clients deserved better, and people want to see that work out for you. Financial advice isn't a low-risk purchase, though, so back the passion up with proof of your experience, your process and the support you have behind you.
Try this: get your "why I left" story down to three sentences, with plenty of determination and no bitterness.
5. Give first, and people want to give back
In a well-known experiment from 1971, Dennis Regan had participants spend time with a research assistant who, in some cases, left the room and came back with an unexpected can of Coke for them. Later on, he asked them to buy raffle tickets. Those who'd been given a drink bought noticeably more, and the favour mattered more than whether they actually liked him. That's reciprocity, and it's one of the most studied effects in social psychology.
If you've just broken away, you've probably put a lot of work in for your clients recently, from moving their money to reviewing their plans and keeping them updated along the way. You can build on that. Make sure the conversation where you ask for a referral starts with something useful for them, whether that's a point from their review, an update or simply some reassurance.
Try this: lead with value and then ask. Keep the "give" to your advice and your attention, though. Gifts or incentives in return for referrals stray into inducements territory, so leave them well alone.
6. A specific ask unlocks a specific memory
In a classic memory study from 1966, Endel Tulving and Zena Pearlstone gave people lists of words grouped into categories. Those who were given the category names as prompts recalled far more words than those who weren't. The memories had been there all along, they just needed the right cue to bring them out. Berger and Schwartz found something similar with word of mouth, where reminders in everyday life are what keep people talking.
Asking "Do you know anyone who might need advice?" means asking a client to search their whole address book, and most people come up blank. Asking "Do you know anyone who has just sold a business?" tends to bring a name straight to mind.
Try this: pick two or three life events your best clients have in common and use those as your prompts.
7. Recommending you makes them look good
In a 2014 review of the research on word of mouth, Jonah Berger argued that one of the main reasons people share things is impression management. What we talk about shapes how other people see us, and he suggests these motives are largely self-serving and often work without us noticing.
Being the person who knows a really good adviser reflects well on your client. Seen that way, a referral isn't so much a favour to you as a chance for them to be the helpful, well-connected friend. Your job is to make sure they look good for having made the introduction.
Try this: thank anyone who refers you quickly and personally, without sharing anything about the person they introduced.
Why it pays to ask sooner
A lot of these reasons have a shelf life. Your move is only news for so long, the decision your clients made to follow you is freshest now, and the goodwill from all the work you've just done for them won't last forever. Waiting for things to settle feels like the sensible thing to do, but it quietly works against you.
So don't wait too long. In the next post, I'll walk through three practical ways to ask: a conversation for your closest clients, a value-led email for most of your book, and a story-led note for the people you've drifted away from.
I'll leave you with something my mum always used to say, which is worth bearing in mind if you're not confident about asking. "If that person asked you to refer someone, or asked you for a favour, how would you feel? Would you do it?" If the answer is yes, it's very likely they feel the same way about you. So go ahead and ask.
Check your contract
If any of the people you plan to contact are still clients of your old firm, check your restrictive covenants and your data protection position first, and run anything in writing past your compliance support before it goes out.
The studies
Berger, J. (2014). Word of mouth and interpersonal communication: A review and directions for future research. Journal of Consumer Psychology, 24(4), 586-607.
Berger, J. & Schwartz, E. M. (2011). What drives immediate and ongoing word of mouth? Journal of Marketing Research, 48(5), 869-880.
Brehm, J. W. (1956). Postdecision changes in the desirability of alternatives. Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology, 52, 384-389.
Festinger, L. (1957). A Theory of Cognitive Dissonance. Stanford University Press.
Flynn, F. J. & Lake, V. K. B. (2008). If you need help, just ask: Underestimating compliance with direct requests for help. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 95(1), 128-143.
Paharia, N., Keinan, A., Avery, J. & Schor, J. B. (2011). The underdog effect: The marketing of disadvantage and determination through brand biography. Journal of Consumer Research, 37(5), 775-790.
Regan, D. T. (1971). Effects of a favor and liking on compliance. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 7, 627-639.
Tezer, A., Bodur, H. O. & Grohmann, B. (2022). When goliaths win and davids lose: The moderating role of perceived risk in brand biography effects. Psychology & Marketing. https://doi.org/10.1002/mar.21569
Tulving, E. & Pearlstone, Z. (1966). Availability versus accessibility of information in memory for words. Journal of Verbal Learning and Verbal Behavior, 5, 381-391.
